Make Your Own Agit-Prop

To make your own Agit-Prop you will need:

A controlling intellectual cartel.
A malleable populace.
Buzz words.
Bright pictures.
Simple ideas.
A message that's worth delivering.

Allow a budget of several million roubles.
Allow a timeframe of three months to a year for each project.
Cook each campaign at least four times. Thoroughly.

Key points:
Avoid subtlety. Lay it on with a trowel. Spread for victory.
Demean the enemy with animal characterisation. Snakes, wolves, hyenas and weasels are good exemplars.
Foster a sense of belonging. This may not be your chosen battle but you will need to make everyone believe that they are all in this together. Willingly.

Bypass conventional routes of information delivery.
Better still, destroy all conventional routes and make your own the default, the only.

Remember: There is a whole populace out there waiting to be force-fed your agitational propaganda. They are waiting to act upon your instructions. By successfully making and delivering your agit-prop creations, you will be helping to shape a better future for all our people.

Don't delay; sign up here today.

Our latest offerings follow:

revolution ROUNDABOUT

Election of a far-right government
Left wing: poverty, disease and restraint for majority
Right wing: wealth, health and opportunity for all

A tax exemption for the richest ten per cent
Left: all of us pay for all of us
Right: stop killing wealth creation

Withdrawal of free healthcare
Left: when sickness strikes one it affects us all
Right: your health, your responsibility

Changes to Education
Left: 90% of UK talent wasted
Right: get the work groove early and get ahead quickly

Introduction of culpability culture: smokers, drinkers etc. to wear placards of shame
Left: stop bleeding the heart out of the NHS
Right: choose heart disease, bleed the NHS dry

School children converted to unpaid private sector interns
Left: but what will they learn?
Right: their place.

Social housing gifted to career landlords
Left: we bought it, they own it
Right: talk to your landlord or email faceless bureaucrats - it's obvious

Public transport price-hikes
Left: communities work when communities travel
Right: no subsidies towards pollution

Left: It's not working, we must take control
Right: It's not working, we must take control

Pause for commercial break:

"Not a nutter? Then eat butter."

"Raw food? Snore is for life's winners."

How to be thin and sad

Eat this:
almond milk
raw cacao
spiralised anything
egg whites

Be A Hero - Work For Zero

In the current challenging economic climate the very future of Corporate Corporation Incorporated is at stake. Our Executives struggle every day to maintain their country mansions, helicopters and sports cars on severely reduced dividends. It is a 21st Century tragedy in the making.

Therefore we are establishing a selection process linked to a new and exciting employment relationship protocol aimed at securing the future of our wiser and better superiors.

HERO stands for Help Executives Restore Order.

If you are selected you will work under this new protocol for an indefinite fixed term frequently extendable period during which the following conditions will apply.

1. Nothing within the HERO contract of employment shall be deemed to constitute a contract of employment.

2. You will work on an exclusive zero hour contract basis.

3. Any periods of work provided at the sole discretion of the company shall be at the rate of £0 per hour.

4. Sickness absence during the lifespan of the HERO contract shall be treated as Gross Misconduct and dealt with accordingly.

5. Those selected for the HERO programme shall be given the option of applying for HEROplus. HEROplus provides a unique opportunity to make regular donations equivalent to National Insurance contributions under PAYE. These voluntary donations shall be held in an offshore fund specifically designed to protect the personal pension provision of the CEO.

Within the next few days HR will be notifying those who have successfully completed the Unilateral Selection Process (USP). Please do not be too disappointed if your name is not on the initial list as we have plans to roll out the HERO programme across all divisions in phased batches across the next twelve months.

Those selected in the initial phase will receive a generous reward package, consisting of an imitation gold HERO medal and a £20 Love to Shop voucher.

Corporate Corporation Incorporated is a wholly owned subsidiary of Global International Ltd.


(Clockhouse London Writers contributing were: Allen Ashley, Madeleine Beresford, Sarah Doyle, David McGroarty, Stephen Oram, David Turnbull and Sandra Unerman.)