At first his parents thought it was just an oral fixation. I mean, kids are known for putting things in their mouths. They did not worry much: just took the grocery lists and love notes and put them onto high shelves, kept the clay pots too high for him to reach. Over time it became more and more clear. Their son preferred clay and paper over food. Throughout his toddler years he would cry and reach from where he sat on the floor, strain up toward the high-placed items. He refused to just settle for gnawing on his hands or being satisfied with the banana baby food.

Years later, when the doctor told them that their son had an eating disorder that more often appeared in women and children than it did in men, they chose to view their son as a rarity. "Medical books oust the voices of angels," one said to the other, late at night, as they nodded and marveled, strategized together over wine. "As long as we find ways to help his diet stay balanced, what's wrong with him eating what he wants? We want him to feel healthy and confident, to know his inclinations in a wholesome way can lead him through his life."

They were interested in schooling their son in independence. Once they made their supportive  intent clear to him, he began to share with them how it felt when he ate the tarot cards. "I like them much better cut than I do folded. When they are folded, they hurt going down. I am trying to get at the down that is already within; that is the point, not the going down." They were seeing his details, the way his desires and feelings affected his body. It made them feel close to him to know him by way of his preferences. He began to show them: gorgeous snippets, flashes of color, and words thin enough to go down without too much of a fight, but present enough to make their sweet son look like a God swallowing pigment: hue and pixel.

Perform bibliomancies of the body. Breathe and close the eyes as you put the fingers down onto a card. The place you put your fingers down on the card matters as much as which card it is: being led to where the cuts need to be made.


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