Le Pied (The Foot)
Begin at the foot. This is where all upward journeys commence. Confucius said something about a journey of a thousand miles starting with just the one step. In this case we are looking to climb our way to the summit from the base of this overturned statue. Very Ozymandias.
The foot began life as an eminently variable unit of measurement. What could we do in those old days before we'd invented writing, drawing, counting, checking? All we knew was killing, feeding and procreation.
Even as late as medieval times whatever you wanted to buy or do was based upon bodily measurements. Keep him at arm's length. Drink a yard of ale. Not such a stupid idea - the water was choleric.
Towns started to attempt to set their own standardisation. Keep a stone cast in the village square, collecting rain - this is how long a foot is in this fair hamlet. Check it out now, punk serf brother.
Even so, keep a child or a midget handy for when it suits you to sell short measures.
The Americans play football mostly with the hand. Did something get lost in translation? Or is this about deliberately changing the whole purpose of the beautiful game in order to claim ownership?
I promised myself I wouldn't write about football. Don't want to stir up too many rivalries. You think Rangers v Celtic or Ajax v Feyenoord is bad? Nah, actual proper wars have started over this game. Just take a look into a school playground one lunchtime to work out why.