The Wizard scoffed.

"Do 'burglars' kill witches?" he asked. 

#

The slippers had been his birthday present.

Beneath the Misty Mountains, alone in the darkness, the magical shoes had enclosed Gollum's feet in a radiant color--a shimmer that was perceptible in even the deepest cave.

Today they had been stolen.

#

As she proceeded along the Mirkwood path, Dorothy met three friends. First, an immense, hungry spider. Next, a somnolent dwarf who did not wish to wake. Finally, a drunken elf who had misplaced his keys.

At the Lonely Mountain, she promised, there would be treasure enough for all of them.

#

The tornado swept up Bard of Lake-town. As he--and his house--spun, the world below become very small….then very large again.

Smash!

When he stumbled outside, Bard found a vast, bloody wing protruding from the house's foundations.

#

At first, she'd been merely surprised. Then annoyed.

But after the fourth pair of scarecrows shuffled up to the farmhouse with an entitled air, requesting ale and seed-cakes, Auntie Em began to become very angry.

Then there was another knock at the door.

#

If there had been a way--any other way--to free them from the Mirkwood prison, Dorothy would have taken it.

But no.

When they reached Lake-town, Dorothy guided their barrels to the bank. With frozen fingers, she unpacked them slowly, shivering as she worked.

The lion (like her) was bedraggled and sick.

The tinman was rusty. With the patient application of an oilcan, she was able to get him to move a little.

But the scarecrow was dead.

#

After the Battle of the Five Armies, Thorin, Fili, and Kili would require new brains and new hearts.

"Are you intending to resurrect them?" asked the wizard.

Bilbo swallowed.

"Then you will need courage."

#
        
Years--and many rains ago--a trickster had convinced three trolls to remain outdoors until sunrise. When the light touched them, they'd all been turned to tin.

Now they were rust-streaked statues.

#

"Who have I killed?" demanded Dorothy. "Where?"

Crouching, Glinda patted the ground. Then, with a little Pop!, the air shimmered, and the witch's corpse became suddenly visible, one grisly arm extending from the bottom of the house.

#

The lions were large and hairy. They were also comparatively slow.

At Rivendell, where they stopped to rest, they were mercilessly mocked by the merry tinmen.

#
        
With the courage he had gained from the Wizard, Smaug had essayed the dwarves' mountain and taken their treasure.

Gollum, to whom the Wizard had awarded a "precious," had discovered love and acquired a heart.

With his new brains, the Necromancer had infiltrated the abandoned fortress of Dol Guldur and begun to rebuild his power.

Dorothy would miss him the most.

#

Toto was fluffy and small. But it would be dangerous to underestimate him.

Trotting back to the camp, he returned to the chamber where the others slept. In his mouth, he carried the Heart of the Mountain.

The Arkenstone.

#

However the dragon boasted, there was, in fact, a gap in his armour. Dorothy caught sight of it now: a bare patch on his underside, where a splash of water, if aimed precisely, might initiate his melting.

She lifted her pail.

#
        
Bilbo tapped his heels together.

Closing his eyes, he thought of home: his comfortable hobbit hole, his familiar walks, his pipe.

He experienced the shift when it came: the hubbub of the Emerald City replaced by deep quiet. And when he opened his eyes he saw…

The Shire.