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You Know What?


If I were you I'd prepare a letter and put it where it will be found by one of them snoops.
If I were you I'd throw out all the pork and pretend it was a mistake.
If I were you I'd find a good writer, or a bad one who's desperate, to write something nice about you over on Facebook.
Observe here how the surviving sprouts lie at some distance from the trunk.
If I were you I'd take free advice and free cigars anytime I found them.

Act more like the other sapients for a change. 
Act according to the dictates of your heart without reference to what the driver's manual says. 
There isn't much left besides broth, but it's a meaty kind of broth. 
Act straight when among straights and you'll rarely go wrong. 
Act as boldly as the manacles will allow, if it amuses you.

It's no mistake they have never allowed sheep in the gallery of Congress. 
It's no mistake the buildings tower over the puny pink and black humans scurrying below. 
It's no mistake, they really do hate the girl who said that thing.
Shoes which are higher in the toe than the heel have no common name in this tongue. 
It's no mistake the map fails to highlight the home you grew up in or that of any of your kin.

Let us live as sisters and brothers, where you can be the sister and I shall be the brother. 
Let us start a band and spend the money they give us on contraband. 
Don't mistake the media you consume for the commands of a God. 
Let us pile brick upon brick until we have the Taj Mahal we deserve. 
Let us look to the west when the flaming sign will appear shortly before the seas rear up.

Praise the dreamer of mighty dreams and the packager of tasty goods. 
You know that there was something small missing from your bag, I understand. 
Praise the carpenter who lives by the straightedge and dies by the half dozen. 
Praise the elegant line you can make out against your neighbor's drapes after dusk. 
Praise the musty alcohol we remembered from before we spent our honour.

Don't fire a crayon rocket out of frustration at the school administrators. 
Don't fire until we are certain there aren't any racially pure children left. 
Don't fire long after the chamber has been emptied and a red mark has begun to appear on your finger.
A woman is pound for pound worth more than any of those minor leaguers who have led until now. 
Don't fire until you are sure you can do so in the regal Continental fashion.

I wouldn't say that that velvet coat looked ugly on you, exactly. 
The boys ought to consider pastimes that require only pencil and paper until they sound the all clear. 
I wouldn't say it was a good likeness of me but I have to try to stay on her good side.
I wouldn't say one more word to the architect responsible for our city center. 
I wouldn't say that I could recite the book of 1 Chronicles by heart, but still, that's awfully base of you, Simon.

That tears it, I'm leaving and I'm off to take the bus the delegate recommended. 
Half the problem is the utmost difficulty in being licensed as a supervillain. 
She loved her friend nearly as much as the weathercock on this beautiful mansion. 
And we slowly turn the Chevy Suburban while lines of illegible text made their way up the aisle. 
To think that much less of your own father because he has been condemned by the State is a poor basis for a memoir, I'm just saying.